Don't Touch That!
by TheLandOfChillies
Summary: Miroku always loves a challenge. So when a certain beautiful, yet aloof miko catches his eye, he can't help himself. He attempts...to eh, touch her. MirokuKikyo Hints of SuikotsuKik. A weird fic, I'm warning you.


Summary: Miroku always loves a challenge. So when a certain beautiful, yet aloof miko catches his eye, he can't help himself. He attempts...to eh, touch her. Miroku/Kikyo Hints of Suikotsu/Kik. A weird fic, I'm warning you.

I think this pairing is so unusual, yet I've not seen one ficlet on it at all. And I'm depressed, so I wanted something to cheer me up.

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha.

Don't Touch That:

He had no idea why he hadn't noticed it before.

Strange as it might had seemed, Lady Kikyo had the tightest buttocks in the reign. Her loose red bottoms, which flared out at the bottom, clung attractively around her back side, emphasizing certain elements that were causing Miroku to have a nose bleed.

Bloody hell. Who knew dead clay girls could be so...so...sexy?

Goddamn, Inuyasha had been a lucky man. Only if it wasn't for his nativity, he was sure that the half demon would have ravished her ages ago. But it wasn't just her backside...everything about Lady Kikyo was graceful, lovely, without a fault. Black waves of silky hair cascaded down a curvy, pale body hidden underneath her painfully unrevealing Miko outfit, as her eyes shone like black marbles against her alabaster skin. He tried hard to imagine her face painted with rouge, her eyes gleaming with happiness...

Of course, Miroku knew full well that she was off limits to him. Inuyasha would claw his face off if he knew that he was having...such, ahem...lustful desires for his ex girlfriend. But it was more then desire. It was a need, god damn it! He was so used to women falling at his feet, their eyes filling with adoration as he caught theirs, their cheeks turning aflame as he "accidentally" fondled their bottom. He could even make the wise Sango blush. And though his feelings for Sango were strong, he still couldn't erase Kikyo from his mind.

And there she was.

Quietly leaning against a tree trunk, Kikyo's face was bathed in moonlight as she studied the stars. Miroku's mouth went dry as he scanned her body, his eyes resting on her unprotected, shapely bottom.

Oh, Buddah.

It was calling to him!

As he drew nearer, the hand reached out...further and further...until it was just a inch away from her tempting facade. His breath suddenly becoming more ragged, as he skimmed the soft texture of her clothing as he squeezed her buttocks, melting into their firmness, into that soft, sultry skin.

Miroku suddenly felt cold.

Raising his eyes, he gaze locked with the miko's, whose eyes were boiling in fury. Every inch of her was shaking...he could swear that even the arrows on her back were rattling with her unconditioned anger. Quick as a flash, his hand left her back as the tip of a sacred arrow scraped his throat, as Miroku was knocked to the floor.

Kikyo was on top of him, pinning him to the ground, her bow poised and ready, inches away from his neck. He could still feel her trembling, which sent shocks of pleasure down his body. However, the gentler side of him saw her discomfort...and he almost had the desire to hold her..to calm her.

"H-How...dare you touch me," Kikyo hissed, her eyes ablaze. "How dare you think you can touch me in that manner and get away with it!" Miroku just lay beneath her, speechless. He could only stare her back in the eyes and cough, trying to relax the whole awkward situation.

"Lady Kikyo...I assure no ill feeling was meant," gasped Miroku, struggling to maintain his composure. "I mistook you for...someone else." A silence that seemed like a decade passed, as Kikyo's eyes narrowed. Miroku smiled weakly as he gained more confidence. " I...mean you no harm, Lady Kikyo."

At that point, Miroku closed his eyes and wanted with baited breath for the blow. But nothing came. Instead, the arrow point was removed from his neck, and the solid weight of Kikyo was heaved from his form. He gave a sigh of disappointment at this.

Recollecting himself, Miroku was greeted by the sight of Kikyo staring down at him. The blazing rage was gone...instead it was replaced with her average, solemn expression as her eyes searched his. There was questioning in them.

"Why...?" she whispered, more to herself then him. "Why did you feel the need to touch me?"

"Well..." said Miroku in awe, he was still expecting a sacred arrow being stuck in his jugular "It is what I do...when I see any other ordinary, beautiful woman."

For the first time, she smiled. Not one of her strained, half smiles but a proper one that lit up her face. "I always wanted..." she said, smiling a little sadly, "to be a ordinary woman. I am flattered that you think I am one." She bit her lower lip as she peered at him with a type of innocence that didn't suit her. "May I ask what else...you do to ordinary women?"

In a whirlwind of red, white, black, and purple the two spun towards each other and Miroku felt the soft lips of Kikyo dominating his own. His hands became lost in her hair as tongues were pushed against each other, hands that searched in forbidden territories...Miroku felt his hand get slapped a few times before Kikyo broke the kiss, her eyes glassy as she stood there, breathless. Leaning forward, she whispered in her ear:

"I am promised to one man, and one man only, Miroku."

Miroku smiled as he too pulled away.

"I am as well, Lady Kikyo. My lovely Sango."

Kikyo smiled as she turned to leave.

"Yes...I believe we should keep this between us..."

Miroku's jaw hit the floor as he caught her arm before she left.

"B-but...Inuyasha...he might want you to..."

"Inuyasha is lost to me," Kikyo declared firmly, freeing her arm of his grip. "I do not ask him to follow me. Whatever you are told, this is the truth...I belong to no one...nether does my bottom."

Laughing softly, she vanished into the soft, urban leaves of the forest, leaving behind a somewhat bemused Miroku in need of a cold shower.

As Kikyo travelled on, a young, handsome man with dark hair that fell loose down to his shoulders stepped out of the shoulders and embraced the Miko. Kikyo nuzzled into his clothing, smiling as his arms encircled her.

"_My Darling Suikotsu...you are the only man...I truly belong to..."_

Suddenly a voice called out from within the trees:

"Lady Kikyo, will you bear my children?"

The poor guy had to make a run for it as a certain deranged psycho burst from the bushes, waving his claws in a startling battle cry, with sacred arrows coming at him left, right and center. It had certainly been a weird day.

Fin

This is odd. I had no idea where this was going, but that was random.

Ah, I was bored. And I did this instead of my homework...

Cat: What in the nine living blazes is this fic? Its like she was on crack on something...doesn't make much difference, she always acts as if on crack.


End file.
